Sunday, September 5, 2010

I am not cool

Not that I really needed any additional assistance figuring this out, but today I got another example of my utter uncoolness.  I went to a family barbeque at my Grandpa's house.  It was fun, there was good food, and a large number of family members from my dad's side.

Sometimes over at my Grandpa's, folks will play horseshoes after dinner.  I have never been invited to play.  I have always wanted to be invited to play.  My sister gets invited to play.  My aunts get invited to play.  So, it's not like it's just a "man thing" and girls don't get invited.  It has made me sad that I never really get to be a part of after dinner games.  I thought that maybe they hadn't realized that I wanted to play, and that's why I wasn't ever asked before.

So today, when I saw that people were playing horseshoes, I went outside and sat in the grass nearby.  I tried to make sure that I was noticed, listening to conversations, laughing and cheering at appropriate moments.  My sister asked if I played horseshoes and I said it had been many years since I last played and made some self-deprecating remark about my abilties.  When the match ended, and they were looking for new players, I sat up a little straighter and looked around expecting to be asked.  I mean, I was sitting right there, waiting and looking interested.  I had already engaged in self-deprecating humor about my ability to throw a horseshoe.  I knew playing was supposed to be fun.  I wanted to be cool too.

Instead, they called for someone on the porch to come out and play.

Maybe I just needed to wait a little longer.  So I did.  I waited until I could no longer hold my bladder, quickly went inside and came right back out.  Then I went back to sitting and watching them play horseshoes.  And still didn't get asked to play.

My husband came out a little while later and joined the next game.  He was asked.  I wasn't.  He was.  Right after coming outside.

During his match he looked over at me and seemed to remember previous conversations about how badly I wanted to be asked to play horseshoes with my family.  After his game, it looked like horseshoes were going to be over for the evening.  As they talked about putting the shoes up, I could feel the little daggers of shame sharpening their points.  Thankfully a couple of folks were willing to go another round.  My husband asked me to play.  I repeat: I waited there all this time hoping a family member would ask me to join in the fun, and my husband asked me to play.

I think he just didn't want the rant on the ride home if he got to play horseshoes with my family and I still didn't get asked. 

If I were cool, this is when I would have stood up and shown off some great horseshoe throwing talents.  But I'm not.  I only got one point, and it didn't count, because my loving husband threw his shoes and got a fraction of an inch closer to the pin than I did.  I felt bad for my uncle that he got stuck with me as a partner.  But at least I didn't have to bear the shame of no one wanting me for a teammate but my spouse. 

I would think that the fact that I suck at horseshoes could be why I've never been asked.  However, they didn't know I suck at horseshoes.  And even if they did, there are plenty of people who get asked to play that are bad at it too.

Nope, I think I don't get asked because I'm not cool.  I'm a geek, and geeks don't get asked to play backyard sports.  Except my dad.  He's a geek too.  But he gets a pass because he plays golf and likes to watch football.  Everybody just forgets he's a geek until he starts talking about anime and complaining about the poor selection of titles at local stores.  I'm not sure how a person gets this kind of pass.  Is liking football a requirement, or could other sports get you in?  Do you think it's too late for me to apply for one?

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